unitedplayersofamerica ~ View topic - Can Women Really "Charge it to the Game?"

Joined: 08 Sep 2006 Posts: 436 Location: Chicago

As women we can charge it to the game. There is just a different method into doing so. Here's what I do to cope.

Step 1: Become self-ish.

That was not a typo. You need to become all about self. Cultivate the things in your life that mean something to you. Whether it be physical, intellectual, emotional, spiritual, professional, etc. Don't be selfish in regards to not caring about others in an inconsiderate way. But make your personal growth your priority. Fill your calendar and your mind with things other than him.

Step 2: Do no speak or consort with him.

You've got to go cold turkey on this one. No calls/text/IMs/Facebook/Myspace any of that. You can do more wiith silence than you ever could with speaking. NO having sex with him! That's extremely important. People hate to be ignored. I'm speaking from experience. If they don't know what you're doing or thinking (or if you're not f*cking them), it irks them. The less time you spend speaking to him & clouding your mind, the clearer everything will be.

Step 3: Surround yourself with positivity.

I like to be around my A-List friends in times of doubt or male problems. The girls that are CEOs of their own companies, college graduates, music execs, etc. I don't go for the male bashers because usually they are negative in other areas of their life & I don't want that to rub off on me. My A-List ladies will always give me that boost of confidence that is much needed if I'm feeling iffy in regards to a man. Plus, since they're all about their business, they have no time to sugarcoat. Which leads into my next step.

Step 4: Be honest & look at the situation from the 3rd person perspective.

Women love to be all in their feelings & that's great; we're built for it. But sometimes we have to stop living in our self-induced denial and just be real about the situation. If someone made a movie about your life and you were watching it, would you root for your character or would you think she was being dumb? If it's the latter then you need to own up to it. We're human & we all make mistakes. We think with our hearts and that's understandable. But we have to be honest & learn from these mistakes.

Step 5: Know that this man is not the first & he will not be the last.

We get so caught up in thinking we have to snag this "good" man right now because we never know when another is coming & that's just not true. If you have yourself together as a good woman & you are going to the right places where good men hang out, then you'll never have to worry about finding another good man. He will find you. What we think about ourselves does translate into how people see us. If you're not sure about where you fit in, you'll look like an outcast. If you don't feel confident, you'll look insecure. If you think you can't do better than the last man, you wont.

Step 6: Don't ignore your emotions.

Women make the mistake of trying to be like men. We are not men. We can't get over things the way they do. The best thing for us to do is find our own way. The best thing to do is to treat it like childbirth [just go with me here - LOL]. If you feel some pain, push through it. Don't ignore it. We are made to feel. The more you allow yourself to feel the pain, the quicker it will be over. Harboring feelings has never helped anyone. If you want to cry, do it. If you feel angry, feel it. But don't try to act like your feelings aren't there. They will stay there until they can't be held back anymore, like a baby. Babies will come out whether you like it or not. Try as you might, you can attempt to hold it in, but they will bust out of you just like emotions will: at the wrong time. So be honest with how you feel.

This is what works for me & I hope you can use something from it. Smile

Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1718

case in point:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHtFnFtg_vY

Very Happy

Joined: 27 Mar 2007 Posts: 1066

Joined: 09 May 2008 Posts: 214

That's good advice FilthyFresh. I am going through something similar to Trick Baby situation and definitely intend on putting some of those tips into practice.

Plan B and Mill good game as ALWAYS.

Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1718

Joined: 25 Sep 2008 Posts: 249

@macknetikcharm

How was Trick Baby playing games? Please elaborate...

Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1718

trying to pimp a mack like a trick...

i dont have to be there to throw a good guess at the target because her short circuited reaction was all i needed to see-- everything out of the womans mouth on this message board is out of pocket out of mind

and speaking of the ladies room:

i have yet to meet a woman who can flush the potty all by herself like a big girl when shes dead wrong...

when that day comes i will accept her with open arms-- until then.... Rolling Eyes

Joined: 14 Jun 2007 Posts: 480 Location: Chicago

You don't know me...don't presume to just by the alias I put on on here. I have a real name and a real life. Trick Baby obviously is a kind of mask, a garb so to speak, a tool I use to deploy in my convos on this board. I like to engage in debate, discussions of the human psyche and yes my own life experiences often inflect my contributions to this boards. Just because I talk from a woman's point of view (and you so obviously have something against us) AND because I am not afraid to go toe-to-toe in discussion with some of the macks on the boards (and their egos are never so fragile as to get bent out of shape over anything I happen to say that disagrees with them) doesn't mean I'm "out of pocket."

I am a living, breathing, REAL human being. This post above all others is a reflection of that. Many on here could FEEL that and responded accordingly. Seems to me you are someone who likes to hide behind grand narratives, theory and abstract thought as a cover up to your own hurts, fears and insecurities you have a result of your experience, with women, in the world, etc. And then you can't stand to see someone else, a WOMAN, no less, actually have something of value to say. It breaks down your own sense of mastery and control that you gain from all your proselytizing and pontificating on these boards. Your first comment above didn't contribute in any practical way, you just like hearing yourself talk (type). And so yeah, I'mma call you on it. Me, not having a penis, doesn't mean I'm not gonna call people on their bullsh*t...that wouldn't be mackish!

Basically, TAKE that sh*t somewhere else. It's not welcome or warranted. This post is a post from my HEART. You're too callous and/or self-righteous and/or misogynistic to see that...therefore what you have to say really matters little to me in my own life and world. I believe I'm not the first on these boards to see through your veneer. Eat the meat, spit out the bones...

:::spitting out mackneticharm's attempts to go at me for his own sense of self-import:::

Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1718

(unveiled sarcasm): "yes maam"

Joined: 14 Jun 2007 Posts: 480 Location: Chicago

Thanks filthyfrehsh and Chambers! This is all really giving me some much needed perspective: a way of framing all that's going on in my mind and emotions right now. Thanks for reassuring me that acceptance and FEELING is a part of the charging process. I think I never allowed myself the right to this before and that's why I'm facing these feelings all over again. I'm gonna print out the advice on this thread and add it to my other motivational reading materials! Thanks fam!!

Joined: 12 Dec 2006 Posts: 1718

this goes out to all the 1%ers out there who dont buy into these sneak dis theoretical rat pack ideologies:

why would a woman go to a website predominately for men, run her out of pocket mouth, and yet constantly complain about how she needs a man to "cheque" her?

because some man REALLY did CHECK HER and so shes running for the hills to TRICK some male attention. then she gets on some rat pack hater bandwagon so she can hide the truth from the up-and-comers who dont run their mouth about s*** they know nothing about so she can prevent them from becoming real men and CHECKING her and all her out of pocket sisters in the future.

dont DEBATE with haters and out of pocket females brothers:

check them and then ignore them because it short-circuits their attention seeking excuse for "game"

Joined: 14 Jun 2007 Posts: 480 Location: Chicago

I've always enjoyed the dialogue that happens on the UPA and share engaging conversation with macks on and off these boards. Many feel that my female point of view even when disagreeable sheds light on the subject under discussion and allows the dynamic of the discourse to open up to new ideas that wouldn't be explored otherwise. As such, I'm sure the time you took to go searching the archives to find evidence of my being another "out of pocket attention-seeker broad" was fruitless. This thread was me specifically seeking WISDOM and in the LADIES ROOM no less. When you come on here to toss in your valueless one-liner that fails to add to the conversation, is that really YOU seeking MALE attention: the respect and admiration of your peers for credibility and validation? Is that also the reason you are attempting now to appeal to some weak "bros before hos" rhetoric to get them to back you up in banding together to ignore me--an act that really only has the potential to lessen YOUR own game in its desire to silence a representative of the female voice? My dear macknetic, I AM NOT THE ENEMY.

Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 35

see when you charge a sissy to the game its for a reason. There is no problem with that, woman are caught up on them selves too much, but there was something that led you to believe he should be gone. There is always something better, no matter what the case may be. But the thing is before you charge that man to the game, you have to think of things in his eyes and think outside of the box, this way you will not be caught up in your own emotions after the fact.

Joined: 10 Sep 2009 Posts: 35

now trick baby ? you have to realize that challenge can not compensate for game. What you can do is get your life together, because in the long run, the come up is great. This man is actually breaking down your potential. Look at it from another person's point of view, not a family member, or a friend. THis may cause jealousy or envy. So what you need to do is realize that there are plenty of men in the world. The emotions that are caught up in your mind are a back fire of your game not working. See, trick what you need to do is actually venture out of where you live and travel to other places if you can and actually see how others act. the emotions and worrys you are caught up in is affecting every aspect so much, that you are taking the time to post on this site, now you have to look deep into yourself and find the answer why do you like this? what is it about yourself that makes you like the situation. think outside of the box.
pardon the swag but bitch it's carta`

Joined: 25 Sep 2008 Posts: 249

@Pardon The Swag...

I stand corrected...Peace